Would You Rather Be Mad, Sad, or Happy?
posted December 15th, 2007 by adminTruth #1: In life, during and through-out ALL relationships you are going to get hurt. That’s how it is; accept it, live with it, deal with it.
Explanation: My pastor is far, far beyond me in developement and maturity(which is how it should be). He is extremely kind, loving, gentle, humble, etc. etc. etc. But even HE has hurt me; it is very rare but has happened. Likewise, it is true that I have friends who have hurt me. And because they aren’t as mature as my pastor it happens more often. My wife, wonderful as she may be,(almost perfect) (cha-ching just got some husband points), has also hurt me.
Truth #2: The more intimate or involved the relationship the more you are going to get hurt.
Explanation: My wife has hurt me more than my friends, not because she’s less mature but because I hang out with her more often. Spending more time with her creates more potential for her to hurt me. As well, she is more comfortable around me and understanding my faults causes her to be less focussed on politeness and perfection. This level of comfort sometimes contributes to slackness and lack of caution with words and actions, thus causing me more pain. I’ve never hurt her.
Husband Points…0 Sleeping on couch points…100
Our Reactions to the Pain
When we are hurt there are only two natural reactions that we can have. We either become mad or sad. There is no other NATURAL reaction that we can have(I capitalized ‘natural’ because it is possible to have a third type of reaction but this is spiritual and explained later). There ARE varying degrees and combinations of madness and sadness, but it always boils down to the two basic elements of mad and sad. In fact, almost always the actual reaction is a combination of mad and sad.
Here’s a scale so you can visualize the variations and combinations of mad and sad reactions.
I know; it’s complicated.
The temptation is to think that the scale displays how extreme of a reaction someone has. For example, someone who gets completely mad, would start shooting people, or someone who gets completely sad, gets overly depressed and cries for three days. But this scale doesn’t show that.
This does. 
All the old people are scratching their heads right now thinking, ‘Straight up nuts, what the?’ Old People Translator: Straight Up Nuts=Insane.
Someone high on the intensity scale might start killing people or go into depression. Often we are taught to work on our intensity scale by either holding the emotions in or toning them down. This is a good plan. If you currently kill people when you get hurt, I suggest you continue working on that. But for those of us who think we might have a handle on ourselves because we don’t kill people, throw things, or cuss, there is a new level of maturity to strive for.
Foregiveness.
Mmmmm, yummy word. Webster’s 1828(Wonderful Christian Dictionary) defines forgiveness as such, the pardon of an offender, by which he is considered and treated as not guilty.
In my words, you let go. You stop the hurt in its tracks and don’t allow it to make you either mad or sad. This is the spiritual reaction which I spoke of earlier.
When you harbor your unforgiveness and hold onto the pain, only evil occurs. Either you get sad which hurts you and makes the other person feel guilty, or you get mad and hurt the other person with evil words or thoughts. Nothing good comes from the natural reactions, so Jesus says “Don’t have them.” I know, I know, you think, ‘that’s easy for Him to say, He’s Jesus.’ And that’s true, so I’ll sit Jesus down, have a chat with Him about this, and make sure He understands that He needs to make things a little less difficult for us<God Laughs>. But until then, you can only work on you; you can’t work on Jesus(although it’s clearly more His problem than ours). <Lightning Bolt> “Alright, I get it not funny anymore.” <Whisper> ‘Someone woke up on the wrong side of the cloud this morning.’ <Lightning> “ALRIGHT, I’LL QUIT WITH THE BLASPHEMY! JESUS!” <Lightning> “AHH!!”
Back on track…
It seems these things always come back to the Cross. To be honest, I feel really good inside when I can relate things back to the Cross. Because that’s what we should always look to. Sadly, I don’t very often relate things to the Cross when I’m talking with my friends, but God seems to have a way with always bringing me around to the Cross on these revelations; it’s wonderful.
So imagine Jesus on the Cross. He’s chillin’. As always, bleeding, thorns in His brow, stripes on His back, can’t breath cause the weight of His body is crushing His lungs; you know, just a normal day in the life of a Savior. Then here comes Mr. Hurt. Jesus created us, now He’s dying for our mistakes, He’s about to go to hell for us and give us victory over death, and all we can do is mock Him and belittle His sacrifice. I’d say there’s a good chance He got hurt. But let’s analyze. Did He get mad? Nope, no fire, no brimstone, though we clearly deserved it. Did He get sad? Nope, He didn’t start crying, have a pity party, and give us guilt trips. He just said, “Father, please forgive them.” <And SNAP!> He immediately cut straight through all the pain and let it go. We’re happier, He’s happier, the Father’s happier. It’s a win-win-win situation.
Matthew 18
21 Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”
22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.
If He can handle the Cross, you can forgive your neighbor for letting his dog poop on your lawn; you can even forgive his dog. Let it go, you’ll heal quicker.
Ultimately, it’s all small stuff in light of God’s sacrifice for us. This will be tough to read,(and I’ve never been in the situation so I can’t begin to understand the pain) but even if you’ve lost a loved one to the hands of a murderer; consider what your sin has done to God’s Son. Did He deserve it? Did His Father still forgive you? Let it go, you’ll heal quicker.
For everything inbetween…Let it go, you’ll heal quicker.
One last bomb of exhortation, I’ll let the Word itself do all the preaching. Remember, not my words, His.
Remember to send all complaints to:
Jesus the Christ
P.O. Box 1
RightHandOfTheFather, Heaven 33333
23 Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. 25 But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made. 26 The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, ‘Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ 27 Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.
28 “But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, ‘Pay me what you owe!’ 29 So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ 30 And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt. 31 So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done. 32 Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. 33 Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?’ 34 And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him.
35 “So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.”
Ouch…
Neat Point: The servant owed the master ten thousand talents. My pastor recently did a study on a “talent” and came to the conclusion that it was probably about a million dollars(in today’s currency). So this guy owed ten thousand, million dollars or 10 billion dollars. And my guess is that a denarii is in the dollar range. He was forgiven a 10 billion dollar debt and went to demand a 100 dollar debt…WHAT AN IDIOT! Oh wait, that’s me, oops. Definitely a good representation of how much we’ve been forgiven compared to how much we are owed. Good Job, Jesus. <Thumbs up>
Go. Pray. Forgive; and ask for forgiveness, for your unforgiveness.
